My first experience with grief was the loss of my mom when I was 15. Little did I know, my grief journey would continue far beyond the topic of her loss. I started to notice grief is in every crevice of life. We experience grief when a relationship ends, a pet dies, a job changes, our physical appearance shifts, heck when we get a hair cut there can be grief involved!
As the age old saying from Heraclitus goes, "There is nothing permanent except change." I have come to believe that change is as constant as grief. Yet, none of us are talking about it. Each of us have or will lose someone or something in our lives, many times over, and I think it is important we start opening up about our grieving. It can be a very lonely place, yet we all know what its like to experience loss.
Believe it or not, I consider myself one of the lucky few who got a deep dive into grief so early on. I believe grief has been the cornterstone of the transformative life I have lead. I would be considered an expert at grieivng, at almost twenty years in, and yet somehow grief continues to pull the rug from underneath me. Somehow, though grief is a constant, it shows itself in ways I could never predict. It's an emotional rollercoaster that never seems to end, it just changes form and you get more used to the ride.
My knowing is that the sooner we accept the inevitability of loss and the pain that comes along with it, the more relaxed we can be. In a way, accepting grief and change as a necessary part of existing, peace is able to arise. I remind myself often: I know if I love this person or thing, I am going to lose it or they will lose me. But it is a ride worth going on. We're here for a quick trip, so dive in, head first into the oh-so vulnerable pool of life. What do you have to lose?