I recently went through a traumatic accident with someone I have always wanted to keep safe. Over the following three weeks, I went through many emotions: guilt, grief, shame, acceptance, and a desire to feel okay again. I reached out to many different healers, therapists and hypnotherapists. Every single appointment I dreaded. I felt ashamed of what happened. I wanted to tuck the pain away and never visit it again.
Through my own healing and witnessing healing in others, I knew that there is no amount of hiding from pain that makes it go away. To heal, we must lean into the pain, no matter how uncomfortable or in my case torturous it can feel. The last healing I received was from a hypnotherapist. I’ve never received a true session before and I was terrified!
I thought to myself, “How could going to an appointment that I am shaking in fear of going to, be an aid in healing process?” I intuitively felt that I had to follow through with the appointment, no matter my discomfort. I showed up, received the work and came out feeling at home in my body.
What this experience taught me is that it is normal to be afraid, it is human nature to fear change, and if we desire to change, heal or transmute our pain into something purposeful, we must go out on a limb. We must move out of the known territory, into something unknown to get a result we’ve never experienced.
Through my pain and suffering, watching someone I love more than life itself be hurt, through the hours of crying with regret, I am once again free. This pain was like no other and the transmutation process of the pain gave me an insight into myself like I have never experienced. More than ever before I see how blessed, gifted and fortunate I am. Through my pain, I have moved closer to who I truly am and without this experience, perhaps I would’ve never reached this place of peace.
If you’re afraid, lean into it. We are always being guided by our soul, that knows everything we desire and knows the easiest path to get us to where we want to be. If you would’ve told me this three weeks ago, I would have disagreed. But here I am, with a greater sense of purpose and wisdom. Since I cannot turn back time, I must learn through my experiences. If I have learned anything it is that I can trust myself, I must trust myself and I hope this encourages you to do the same.